Why Middle School Is So Hard
Middle school is an intense, often difficult transition in a child’s life. The average onset of this developmental phase is about 11 to 12 years of age, which happens to coincide with moving on to the next level(and location) in their schooling. The struggle transcends schools, gender, geographic location and socio-economic status. MOst students seem to be affected by it in some manner or another and it is often negatively reflected upon by adults as the dreaded “middle school years.” Having empathy and knowing the reasons for this tumultuous period can assist parents in their attempt to help their children navigate through it.
At this stage children’s bodies are undergoing rapid development and their brains are experiencing a major growth spurt. The last time this much change occurred was from 0 to 2 years. This can often result in the child experiencing anxiety and struggling with new emotions yet not possessing enough maturity and experience to express them appropriately.
Added to these often-confusing physical changes is the stress of entering into a new school environment that is nothing like their previous seven years of education. An environment that, at times, can be developmentally inappropriate for this stage.
As children reach the ages of 11 to 14 years they are beginning to explore their independence and self-reliance. Part of that exploration is having choices and the autonomy to take risks and make mistakes and thus learn through practical application. Unfortunately, often for safety reasons, the education system at this level is restrictive and students are still being treated like their younger elementary counterparts. They are then sent on to high school with the expectation that they should know how to conduct themselves despite not having had a gradual increase of responsibility and independence in their middle school years.
These students are now starting their school day earlier despite research having proven that tweens and teens need more sleep and that class at 7:30 am is counterproductive. Waiting in the early morning darkness at the school bus stop is another aspect of the early start that serves no one well.
Free play has been proven to enhance academics and social interactions for all ages and yet free play abruptly ends at this educational level.
In middle school students find themselves among large numbers of unknown peers where survival of the fittest is their new norm. Children that may have been with a consistent set of students for years and operated within well-established social rules and etiquette are now set adrift to figure out a new system where they will either sink or swim.
Students with personal relationships with teachers and staff are more likely to be successful. Middle schoolers need a sense of belonging and connection and yet find them very difficult to establish in an environment where each teacher has a hundred or more students. Having minimal time between classes to curtail misbehavior causes them to rush from class to class, restricting the ability to interact with peers and resulting in feelings of isolation.
Academically, expectations are higher and the workload is heavier. Skills that support time management, organization, emotional control, prioritizing, studying and note and test taking are needed to be successful. Students that are naturally organized will thrive better than those that are not. Unfortunately, these executive function skills are not taught in the school system.
With middle school comes significant emotional and physical changes, a new environment, new social systems, a major increase in academic expectations and less support. Is it any wonder that so many kids struggle during this time in their childhood? Let’s all strive to keep these challenges in mind and guide with grace.
